“When you take things personally, you’re actually giving power to somebody else. You’re giving them the power to control how you feel and how you react.”

Jane Huxley, CEO, ARE Media & Episode 11 guest of the Your Brilliant Career Podcast

Have you ever found yourself taking things personally at work? If so, you’re not alone! Spending long hours in an office with a variety of personalities can feel like a minefield to navigate at times… From colleagues whose attitudes change as fast as the weather to the pressure to compete for promotions while juggling personal responsibilities, it’s easy to get swept up in the chaos. But fear not, there are ways to stay afloat! In this post, I’m sharing my top five strategies to help you stop taking things personally at work and steer your mindset in the right direction.

Reframe your perspective

One of the first things we can do to stop taking things personally is to look at how we can reframe our perspectives. Instead of seeing criticism or negative feedback as a personal attack, why not try to see it as an opportunity for growth and improvement? This can be a powerful mindset shift that allows you to take constructive criticism in stride, without feeling defensive or upset.

Reframing your perspective can also help you to stay positive and motivated, even when facing difficult feedback. Instead of dwelling on the negative, you can focus on the potential for growth and improvement. This can help you to bounce back faster from setbacks – which ultimately will keep you moving forward in your career!

Separate your emotions from the situation

As human beings, it’s normal to experience emotions when we receive negative feedback or criticism. It’s easy to feel hurt or defensive when we hear a challenging piece of feedback, and as a result our emotions can often cloud our judgment. When this happens, it’s crucial to separate our emotions from the situation if we want to approach it in a constructive and positive way.

Taking a step back and looking at the feedback objectively can be a challenging task, but it’s worth the effort. When you feel your emotions rising after a difficult moment at work, take a moment to pause and take a deep breath. Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. This can help to slow down your heart rate and bring back a sense of calm, allowing time for you to regain composure and start to think about the situation sans emotions. When we approach the situation calmly and rationally, we can respond more effectively, which can lead to a better outcome.

Don’t take it personally – it’s about the work

If there’s one thing I want women to take away from this post, let it be this:, when someone criticizes your work or gives you negative feedback, it’s not about you as a person – it’s about the work. Say it with me… it is not about you personally! When you receive criticism or challenging feedback at work, try to focus on the specific aspects of your work that need improvement, rather than taking the criticism as a personal attack. This can help you to stay objective and focused on the task at hand.

It’s important to remember that even the most successful and accomplished individuals receive criticism and negative feedback. It’s how you choose to respond to the criticism that makes all the difference. By staying objective and focused on the work, you can take the feedback as a learning opportunity and use it to improve your skills and advance in your career. So, next time you receive criticism or negative feedback, remember that it’s not about you as a person.

Seek out constructive feedback

One way to stop taking things personally is to seek out constructive feedback proactively. Instead of waiting for someone to give you negative feedback, ask for feedback on your work regularly. This can help you to identify areas for improvement before they become bigger issues, and can also help you to build a stronger relationship with your colleagues and superiors.

Asking for feedback can be intimidating, but it’s important to remember that it’s not a sign of weakness. In fact, it takes a lot of courage and self-awareness to seek out feedback and be open to criticism. By asking for feedback, you can identify areas for improvement before they become bigger issues, and can also build stronger relationships with your colleagues and superiors.

So how can you start seeking out feedback proactively? One way is to schedule regular check-ins with your manager or mentor. Use this time to ask for feedback on specific projects or tasks, and to discuss your goals and career development. You can also ask for feedback from your colleagues or peers. This can be as simple as asking for a second opinion on a project or task, or asking for suggestions on how to improve your work.

When asking for feedback, it’s important to be open and receptive to what you hear. Remember, the goal is to learn and grow, not to defend yourself or make excuses. Take the feedback in stride, and use it to make positive changes in your work.

Use criticism as motivation

Criticism can be a tough pill to swallow, but it can also be the key to unlocking your full potential in the workplace. It’s easy to let negative feedback bring you down and make you question your abilities, but what if you took a different approach? What if you viewed criticism as an opportunity for growth and improvement? This mindset shift can be a game-changer in your career.

By using criticism as motivation to improve your work, you can take control of your own development and set yourself up for success. When you receive negative feedback, take a moment to reflect on what you can learn from it. Is there something you can do differently to improve your work? Are there skills you can develop to become even better? By asking yourself these questions and using the feedback as a tool for growth, you can start to develop a growth mindset.

A growth mindset is the belief that your abilities can be developed and improved through hard work and dedication. This mindset is essential for success in the workplace because it allows you to approach challenges with a sense of curiosity and a desire to learn. Instead of viewing criticism as a personal attack, you can see it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Taking things personally at work happens to all of us from time to time, but it’s important to remember that criticism and negative feedback are not personal attacks. By reframing your perspective, separating your emotions from the situation, focusing on the work rather than yourself, seeking out constructive feedback, and using criticism as motivation, you can take control of your career and steer it in the right direction. By practicing these strategies, you can stay afloat in the workplace and thrive, no matter what challenges come your way. So, next time you receive feedback or criticism, take a deep breath, stay calm and objective, and focus on the opportunity for growth and improvement. Your career will thank you for it.